Secrets
by johnlockislove
Summary: Sherlock gets curious and asks John about his secrets, but ends up revealing a little more than he would have liked. Trigger warning for: Abuse, sexual assault and suicide.


Do you keep any secrets from me? SH

**Umm yes, why are you asking this...? JW**

Why? SH

**It's just stuff I don't want you or other people knowing, nothing life threatening. JW**

Like what? SH

**I don't want to say. JW**

Why? SH

**Because I don't want people to know. JW**

Why? SH

**Because it's personal. JW**

**Jesus, can you say anything else other than why? JW**

Is that the sole reason? SH

**Yes, I promise I'm not keeping anything important from you. JW**

I still want to know. SH

**Well you can't know. JW**

What if we do a trade? SH

**Trade? JW**

Yes. You tell me a secret of yours and I'll tell you one of mine. SH

**Uhh, I guess. I am fed up or you being so mysterious. JW**

Excellent, shall I start? Any specific thing you with to know about? SH

**Yeah, what is it with you and Mycroft? What has he done to make you hate him so much? JW**

He told my parents I'm gay. SH

**Seriously? JW**

Afraid so. They've resented me ever since. SH

**I'm sorry... JW**

Not your fault, however it is your turn. SH

**Anything specific you want to know? JW**

No, just any random secret. SH

**Okay. I hate going to the beach. JW**

Why? SH

**When I was little I had a near death experience. JW**

You still are little. SH

**Alright sarcky, I meant when I was younger. I got swept out by the tide and nearly drowned. JW**

I see... SH

**I believe it's your turn. JW**

Not really a secret of fine but I'm equally embarrassed, but Sally used to fancy me. SH

**...No way. JW**

It's true, I turned her down in front of everyone, humiliated her and that's why she hates me. SH

Jesus... JW

Unexpected, is it not? Your turn. SH

**When I was **_**younger **_**I used to switch Harry's alcoholic drinks with apple juice and water because I thought it looked like wine and vodka and pray she didn't notice. She did... JW**

You were an idiot child. SH

**I was like, seven, give me a break. JW**

No breaks given. Getting a little darker now, my first and only boyfriend Victor was abusive. SH

**Are you serious? JW**

Yes. I didn't know any different and assumed it was normal so I stayed with him for three years. Within those three years he cheated on me more times than I can count, sexually assaulted me and put me in hospital for a week. SH

**He sexually assaulted you?! JW**

I believe saying no to something sexual and doing anyway is sexual assault, yes? SH

**Oh my god... JW**

Don't bother saying you're sorry. I don't want your pity, it can't change anything now. Just tell me your next secret. SH

**Okay, well... In my life I've tried to commit suicide three times. JW**

...Why? SH

**Well once after I came home from war, once after the fall and one after Mary and I got divorced. JW**

I see, I never knew. SH

**That's why it's a secret Sherlock, your turn. JW**

My hair is naturally ginger, I dye it regularly. SH

**Yeah, right. JW**

ATTACHMENT: Picture.53 jpg

That's my year eight school photo. SH

**I am crying, I can't breathe! JW**

Yes, yes. Laugh it up. SH

**This is going straight to Lestrade. JW**

NO. SH

I will never hear the end of it. SH

**Too late. JW**

You have three days to find a new flat mate. SH

**I'm joking, calm down. JW**

...Your turn. SH

**Going back to serious, after the fall I started seeing hallucinations of you. JW**

You did? SH

**Yes, they gave me medication to get rid of it but I never took it until I met Mary and she convinced me to. I didn't want to lose you all over again... JW**

That's... Kind of sweet. In a sad way. Just as equally depressing though, I still have one of your jumpers. Remember the pale green one Mrs Hudson made for you? SH

**You have that? I lost that like four years ago! JW**

Soon after the fall I had someone from the Homeless Network breaking into the flat when you were out and bring it to me. I kept it after I found out you were getting married, like the only piece of you I could actually keep with me, it was comforting. Still is. SH

**Wow... That's also kind of sweet in a sad way. JW**

You can have it back if you want. SH

**Keep it. It's in better use. JW**

Thank you... SH

**My turn? I don't think I have anymore. JW**

I do. SH

**Oh? JW**

I'm surprised you haven't worked this out yet. SH

**I'm just an idiot like everyone else, but please go on. JW**

I love you. SH

[Delayed]

**Excuse me? JW**

You can read. SH

**Yes, yes but... I don't understand. I thought you were married to your work? JW**

That was before I met you. SH

**Oh... JW**

I'm sorry. SH

**No! No, don't be sorry. JW**

**I... Feel the same. JW**

You do? SH

**Yes. JW**

How come I couldn't tell? SH

**I guess I hide it well. JW**

I'll be home in ten minutes. See you soon. SH

**See you soon. JW**


End file.
